As the Baby Boomers coast into their golden years, more and more people find themselves living as part of the so-called "sandwich generation." Sandwiched between the duties of taking care of their own children and the needs of their aging parents, people of this generation are often desperate for ways to make their lives as caregivers bearable, affordable, and healthy for all parties involved. The challenges of living under the same roof as a senior with multiple health issues can be many, but with a few helpful tips, it is possible to meet these challenges gracefully while fostering harmony in the home.
My House, My Rules
As in any situation where cohabiting is a new development, clear declarations regarding expectations make the difference between peace and conflict over the long haul. It's imperative that caregivers remember that their new senior tenant has spent years living by his or her own rules. Things that seem like harmless quirks to him or her may seem like hostile disturbances to housemates unaccustomed to their routines. Be sure to discuss in advance such things as planned meal times, sharing of communal space, access to television and Internet, meal preferences and so forth. Advanced warning of do's and don'ts will prevent hurt feelings and accusations of unfairness down the road. When welcoming a senior into one's home, it is also important to consider the effect his or her health conditions may have on ability to integrate with the household. Issues like poor sight or poor hearing may cause a senior to become irritable or seem uncooperative. The natural winding down of seniors' energy levels may cause her to sleep into the day, or skip a family dinner in favor of a nap. Softening one's expectations to accommodate their abilities will help both parties live in peace.
A Place To Call One's Own
No matter how severe someone's health problems may be in old age, there exists, deep down, the perception of themselves as they used to be. Every senior was once a spry, independent soul who lived as they pleased. Whenever possible, it is extremely helpful for seniors to have a space of their own. If they are still quite sociable, it will provide a sense of autonomy for them to have access to a private area, preferably with its own entrance, so they can have visitors. A feeling of involvement within a community is a key component in fostering a vital sense of purpose and connection. Anything that can be done to encourage a senior housemate's sense of autonomy will serve to ward off depression and illness. Enlisting his or her friends as participants in the care-giving process will also take a load from the primary caregiver.
Know When To Call In The Troops
As the aging process progresses, there naturally comes a time when the help needed by a senior exceeds the capabilities of the caregiver. This is a volatile situation since when their needs are not met, and a caregiver is exhausted, resentment begins to brew. Living with an older person may require tending to their hygiene, doing heavy lifting, and overseeing all aspects of their medical care. If the roster of duties becomes too much, it's important to know when to call in support. Access to adult day cares, part time domestic assistance, or a few hours with a home health aide can go a long way in preserving the sanctity of ones health and household. Achieving a state of balance between being the giver versus the receiver of help will not only allow a senior to stay in the home longer, it will make it possible to enjoy this unique passage in life.
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